Happy Birthday Friend

You are the most beautiful flower in my garden of friendship remain the same forever ... Happy Birthday Friend Instead of counting candles, Or tallying the years, Contemplate your blessings now, As your birthday nears. Consider special people Who love you, and who care, And others who’ve enriched your life Just by being there. Think about the memories Passing years can never mar, Experiences great and small That have made you who you are. Another year is a happy gift, So cut your cake, and say, "Instead of counting birthdays, I count blessings every day!

How to Work on a Relationship

For some, the idea of "working on" their relationship may seem strange or unusual. After all, don't you just "do what comes naturally"?
The fact is that most relationship experts believe that "work" is just as important in relationships as is love. Love is never enough. Successful relationships also need intelligence, information, skills, courage, commitment, tolerance and persistence. Developing these skills and abilities requires "work."
There are three phases in what we mean by "working on" a relationship: an Understanding Phase, a Skill Building Phase and a Practicing Phase..

The Understanding Phase - or Consciousness Raising Phase

The Understanding Phase of How to Work on a Relationship consists of learning about the wonders and complexities of romantic love. There is an incredible amount of important and essential information that couples must understand about intimate, committed relationships. Brain physiology, the unconscious mate-selection process, the real sources of conflict, the role of emotional "scabs", etc. are not commonly understood by most couples. Yet these are vitally important concepts to understand.
This "understanding" happens in different ways for different couples. Some will get started by reading a book, by attending a workshop or seminar for couples (See bookstore and Workshops) or by a series of therapy sessions with a couples’ therapist. In the membership section of this WEB, the Understanding Phase consists of a series of Educational Modules designed to explain the dynamics and complexities of intimate, committed relationships. Check out the Tour for a fuller view of the educational modules that are available. Also be sure to read additional articles in the article section.

The Skill Building Phase

In the Skill Building Phase couples will need to learn a series of dialog, communication, sharing and enhancing skills and processes. Understanding by itself is rarely if ever enough. Understanding or awareness can give you clarity as to what needs to be done, but it is action not understanding and the wise use of relationship skills that will ultimately make the difference. Of course, skill without understanding is also not helpful. But the combination is a winning team in virtually every area of life--especially in that thing we call love and marriage. Learn these skills, practice them, master them.
Again theses skills are taught in books, workshops, seminars, and therapy – and in the Couple's Workstation area of this web.




The Practicing Phase

We use the "term" practicing in the same way a physician "practices" or a psychologist "practices". This is not the practicing to learn the skills. Once you have learned and somewhat mastered the skills and the understanding, the next task is to do them, live them, exercise them, practice them. We believe these are skills and processes you will use throughout your life, and so the practicing phase section of this WEB site gives you a variety of ways to apply all you will learn. In the early years you will want to "practice" more frequently and more often, but later you might consider the Marriage Month approach (taking one month out of each year to renew, focus, fine-tune, practice your marriage skills). From the tool kit of options and suggestions you can create your own short-term and long-term plan for practice.

DOES IT MAKE SENSE?...

WE ARE MORE FRIGHTENED THAN HURT, AND WE SUFFER MORE IN IMAGINATION THAN REALITY.....

When a relationship of love is developed, a bond of trust is formed. There is an unspoken agreement that the two of you are committed to each other and that you will not see other people. When one of the members of this sacred bond choose to be intimate with another person, they are not only cheating their lover but they are cheating themselves as well. They are breaking their own bond of trust. In most situations, when a person cheats, it is not because of affection for a new lover. Rather, he may be searching for what is missing in his present relationship.

The feeling of being in love is so intense that it feels like it will last forever. We can't believe that the other person doesn't feel the same way. We can't believe that this sacred relationship has been betrayed. You may have been sure that you were in the same wavelength and that you understood each other. Meanwhile, you have been walking on parallel and eventually divergent tracks the entire time. The feelings of betrayal and hurt may take many years to heal.
 

When your heart is broken it is the saddest thing in the 

world. All your energy leaves you and everything in 

your life seems to lose all meaning.You gave your 

heart and soul to this love, and now it is no more.

 How can your heart ever be whole again? There is a 

very deep thought attributed the Mystical Rabbi

 of Kotzk, "there is nothing as whole as a 

broken heart". Although a broken heart is painful, 

it brings a person to turn to God. He realizes that 

he is ultimately alone in the world except for God 

who is always there to comfort him.

 
In a loving relationship, there are often hurt feelings. We have certain expectations of our partner, and when they do not live up to them we are likely to feel a sense of betrayal. The truth is that if we put our hurt aside for a moment we may realize that our lover was not even aware of the expectations that we had for them. These expectations are probably a carryover of fantasies that we have in our heart of how a perfect lover behaves. It is OK to have these expectations. However, if we expect our partner to fulfill them for us we must at let them know what we would like.

 

Giving yourself alone time gives you the time to think,fix and plan things....

-prof. ethel-

Crazy Angel !!

My One Crazy Friend !!

Everyone should believe in angels

They surround you everyday
They help and protect you
Love and care for you
They try not to let you down
But even angels make mistakes
Do you believe is angels?
I do
I call them my friends
They do all the things an angel should
They make you laugh when you're sad
Make you feel better when you're sick
Stand up for you when you're tormented
Love you when you feel as if no one does
Doesn't that sound like an angel
To me it does
Everyone needs an angel
At least one good one
Or your life isn't complete
And won't be
Till you find your special angel.!!

Cheating spouses: who is more likely to stray?

This is global survey....

( no any bad intention on this post)

According to a new global survey by AshleyMadison.com -- a dating site for married people looking to have affairs, with the tagline "Life is short. Have an affair" -- a cheating husband is likely in his 40s, has been married for more than 10 years, and has two children over 10 years old.

Of the 11,453 men surveyed (all of whom have accounts on the website), the largest percentage of likely cheaters work in the IT/engineering field.

Here's the full round-up of top occupations for cheating husbands:


IT/engineer (10.6 percent)

Financial industry (8.2 percent)

Education (6.5 percent)

Doctors (4.6 percent)

Lawyers (3.8 percent)
What about wives who stray? In May, the site polled 2,865 of their married female members and found that the typical cheating married woman was in her 30s, married for five years or less, and had a daughter under three years old. She is also likely to be a teacher, a stay-at-home mom, or work in the medical industry.

Psychology Today reports that 55-65 percent of men cheat and 45-55 percent of women cheat, with problems stemming from poor communication, unequal power dynamics, and a lack of empathy toward your partner, among others. 

- Prof. -

MERA JIGAR

DO YOU KNOW HIS NAME!!

ONCE I KNEW A GREAT GUY

MAKE HIM SIMPLE WITH GREAT SMILE...

I THOUGHT I COULD BEAR THIS GREAT DEAR,

HE MAKES ME DIFFERENT ON JUST SINGLE SHARE.

HE EXCLAIMED TO BE BAD BUT MOSTLY HE IS GOOD...

HE WAS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT HE THINKS AND WHAT HE SHOULD.

RARELY TALK BUT MOST EXCLAIMED,

AND POOR HIMSELF, HE ALWAYS BLAME.

DAYS, MONTHS HAVE TO GO...

HOW AND WHAT I SHOULD DO?

I WAS FALLING APART AND TEARING UNTO PIECES..

ONLY HIS POEMS ARE HIS MASTERPIECES.

GOD GAVE ME FRIEND,

FALLING UNTO HIM I DIDN'T MEANT.

EVERY SMILE GIVES ME PASSION AND STRENGTH

TO MOVE ON AND I'M KEEPING HIS NAME.

PLEASE GIRL HOLD ON TO YOUR FEELINGS

THESE CAN ONLY BE YOUR MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING..

IF HE KNOWS THIS FORBIDDEN FEELINGS...

HE JUST WALK AWAY YOUR HEART IS ACHING.

NOW I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO,

BE ON FRIENDSHIP FOR TWO OF YOU...

'COZ MAYBE THE HAPPINESS HE CAN GIVE

JUST AS FOR YOU ON KNOWING HIS NAME AND SAVE

DEAREST ENCOURAGEMENT ENDORSE PATIENCE AND KINDNESS?

THAT'S HIS NAME...AND I KNOW HIM BEST....:)

HOW TO RAISE RESPONSIBLE CHILDREN...

"THE MOST POWERFUL LEARNING MACHINE IN THE UNIVERSE"

A baby's brain has been called" the most powerful learning machine in the universe," and for good reason. An infant enters the world primed to absorb all the sights, sounds and sensations that surround him.

Above all, infant is intrigued by other humans-faces, their voices, their touch. Many studies have been made of the sights which interest an infant most, the sounds which attract and hold his attention, the sensations he most clearly seeks to repeat.All these are most frequently and readily available in the from of an adult care-taking human being. No wonder parents play such a vital role in the child's development!

Within days, an infant is accustomed to his mother's voice and prefers it over that of a stranger; within weeks, he can tell the difference between the speech sounds of his parents' native tongue and those of other languages; and within months, he can sense the junctures between words and thus tell the difference between normal speech and unintelligible sounds.

At about age two, bubble does indeed burst as a parent shifts roles from caretaker to instructor. More than ever before, a three-year old is beginning to learn the concepts of right and wrong, good and bad..

During difficult periods, parents should hold on to the reins of authority. If they do so in a firm but loving way, the child will adjust into his new role. And the stage will be set for further marvels growth.Clearly, this is a time for parents to train their children with the goal of helping them to become responsible adults.

Toddler experiment to see how far they can push limits. Allowing a child to do what you have clearly forbidden sends a confusing message. We found that when we were firm and consistent, our children gradually learned that screaming is not the way to get what they want.

At these stages, proper handling of kids may be difficult but the only guidance we love them with God's guidance...

-Prof. Ethel-

I want to be kid again

I WANT TO BE KID AGAIN!!

Decisions were made by going "teeny-meany-mine-mo."

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.

It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn't an Olympic event.

Nobody was prettier than Mom.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.

Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

War was a card game.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

Older siblings were the worst tormentors but also the fiercest
protectors.

I would love to be a KID again!!! Wouldn't you???

Broken

Tears of blood fall from my broken heart
I never thought we would be apart

When you held me you said "forever"
Now that you're gone I know you meant "never"

Saying you love me with that look in your eye
And that was a cold heated lie

Your tender touch, a soft kiss
Two things about you I will miss

As I sit here thinking about you
My face is wet with tears past due

I should've cried a long time ago
But I loved you so

I know they say love is blind
But I had only you on my mind

A hurt so deep it cuts like a knife
But wounds heal and I'll go on with my life

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Inspirational Phrases, Sayings, and Quotes

QUOTES FOR YOU...

Prof. Ethel

If people won't accept who you are... Better to leave and say ... "Thanks for not accepting me...you are just an idiot that made me a great wall...only shaken but never collapsed yet still smiling even I'm dancing under the rain..."

"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will."

"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."

"Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."


"The greatest revenge is to accomplish what others say you cannot do."

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."

"A goal without plan is just a wish...it will never happen until you made it to happen."

"Failure is a success if you learn from it ...but a mistake can't be happened twice..coz in the second time it happens its already a choice."

Video: After All

Video:i don't have a heart.....

WHAT IS RIGHT?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT?

How can we ever know

the answer to this big, big question:

What is Right?

Sometimes we are not sure what is right

and what is not right.

There are somethings that we know are not right

and almost everybody knows that these things are not right.

What if we don't know all the rules?

What should we do if we are not sure if something is right or not right?

How can we be sure that we know what is right and what is not right?

Sometimes if we don't know what is right, or are not sure

we can try to find and listen to a little voice somewhere inside us called our conscience.

Sometimes we think we know what is right but maybe we really don't.

Sometimes we do something that  not right to try and make something else right.

Is that right?

Some people say that what is right is always right...

right in the beginning 

right in the middle

and right at the end...

Sometimes doing what is right can be scary.

But does that mean we should not do what is right,because it is scary?

Maybe if we do what is right,even if it is scary

things will turn out all right,do you think?

Can two different things or people be right?

Can something feel not right but somehow still be right?

How can something that feels not right,still be right?

How can what is right be right for everybody?

How can what is right always be right?

How can you or anybody, ever know what is right and always and for everybody?

Do you know anybody who knows what is right always and for everybody-and for sure?

Have you ever heard of anybody like that?

Have you?

So please, never stop asking that big, big question....

What really is the right?